


Letters from the Pilot

by unfinishedking



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Mentions of Sex, Oneshot, Short, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23588758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfinishedking/pseuds/unfinishedking
Summary: A couple, meant to pilot a Jaeger together, are torn apart. Can they ever come back together?
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 1





	Letters from the Pilot

Dear Aelius,

I’ve been looking for you since three days ago. Why didn’t you tell me you were switching to Communications? I had to hear it from Captain Briggs when he told me they wanted me to try sparring with someone else. I asked him where you were, that I’m sure you’d want to try linking up again, and that’s when he told me.

So what the fuck Aelius? We’ve been together for three years and now you’re hiding things from me? Avoiding me? I know you saw something...not so great when we linked up, but it doesn’t matter. Remember our motto: the past is the past? Let’s just forget about it okay? I’m not mad at you for chasing the rabbit: it could have easily happened to me.

We could have tried again you know: failing the first time is normal! It happens! It doesn’t mean we aren’t compatible. Hell, we finish each other’s sentences: that’s got to count for something right?

Anyway, I ended up sparring with the random guy. His name is Felix. He was shaking while we fought but he’s got a strong stance and he puts a lot of power behind his blows. You’d never guess he was shy until that quiet little voice spills out of him: dude is six feet and built. You know like a dad bod, but with muscles? That’s Felix.

Captain said he’s had a hard past so they’ve been having trouble pairing him and they know I’ve had my share of problems so he’s my problem now. Next week Felix and I are supposed to try linking up. It’s not too late, you could probably tell Captain you changed your mind, as long as you tell him before the link test. So, don’t wait too long.

Write me back please. I’m worried.

Yours,

Nellie

Dear Nellie,

You don’t have to lie to me: you never would have chased down a memory. You’ve never wanted to know about my past, never needed it, never wondered, like I did about yours. I’ve always been the more curious of the two of us.

I know you’re not ready to talk about what I saw: you haven’t been ready for three years. I’m not expecting you to change now.

I moved to communication so I could support you in other ways, to be the voice in your ear giving you intel and checking in on how you’re doing. That’s what I did everyday anyway, so it’s a comfortable position for me. I guess I moved out too soon though: Captain said you aren’t fitted into a Jager yet, so I’ve been assigned to Echo Fury. I haven’t met them yet so I hope it works out. If it doesn’t, maybe I’ll still get to work with you. Who knows.

Please don’t be mad. It’s better this way. You know I never wanted to pilot with anyone but you.

Yours,

Aelius

Dear Aelius,

So I guess you’re set on the whole communications thing. Can’t say a part of me doesn’t like your whole “it’s Nellie or nothing” motto. With you, I never feel insecure: I always know you’re thinking about me. 

Felix and I are officially co-pilots and together we pilot Lucky Spectre. Captain said we should be honored because Lucky Spectre is outfitted with some experimental parts. He said that Dr. Storm will be our communicator since she’s the one who made the parts. So, I guess you can’t be my communicator.

The linking with Felix and I went well: I quite like our headspace. It’s more abstract, not about words but about feelings. Like, when Felix is scared, I get a feeling like I’m all alone in my house, in the dark, and there’s a knock at my door. And when he’s happy, I feel like it’s my birthday, and I’m at the bookstore with a ton of gift cards. If I’m being honest, sometimes I try to make Felix laugh just to feel that happy again. Since you moved quarters, it’s the only time I feel that happy. You could have kept living with me you know, you didn’t have to move to the communicator dorms. I mean, I know it’s the rules, but I could have used my father’s name or something. His legacy is the only good thing he ever gave me, and if it’s for you, I’ll wield it like my best weapon.

Anyway, that got a little dark. Tell me more about Echo Fury: I heard the co-pilots are quite a pair!

Yours,

Nellie

Dear Nellie,

Jakob and Florentine, the pilots of Echo fury, are amazing to watch: both in and out of the Jaeger. At first I was worried that my presence over the comms would be distracting—after all they’ve been working for so long without a communicator just fine—but Florentine always cheerfully says things like “thanks for the info!” when I speak. Sometimes Jakob responds, and she’ll reply “With this info, there’s no way we can lose!” She kind of speaks like some movie hero, but I like it. It’s hard to feel upset around those two.

I was chatting with your Dr. Storm the other day, and she told me that there’s rumors that before Florentine, Jakob was stubborn, and she tried to pilot a Jaeger alone when her partner died in combat. She managed to defeat the Kaiju, but she’s never really been the same: she started having all these angry outbursts where she’d scream and cry. But once the Captain introduced her to Florentine, it repaired something inside her. I thought that was kind of sweet, like Florentine was her soul mate. Rumor has it the two of them are together now, and that’s what makes their bond so strong and their fighting so good. I wish that could have been us.

Remember how we talked about dying together? How we said we’d hold hands and squeeze our eyes shut waiting for the end? How we imagined it was a mix of the moment before a needle goes in and the moment right before you fall asleep?

I wonder if you look at me how Jakob looks at Florentine when she’s not looking, all desperate and open, like she can’t believe how lucky she is, like she can’t take her eyes off her. I want you to know, I look at you like that, all the time.

Yours,

Aelius

Dear Aelius,

Did you see Lucky Spectre on TV today? She looks so beautiful and strong on the screen, it’s crazy to think about the fact that it’s Felix and I inside, piloting her. Because of how well that fight went, Captain says Felix and I get the whole of next week off! I promised Felix I’d take him to a ramen place so that’s what I’ll spend my first day doing, but then the rest of the days are yours.

How’s life in communications? I heard Echo Fury is killing it on the field: I’m sure your intel is part of their great success. But, I wonder, does it ever get to you? That you hold information that could mean the difference between winning or losing? 

I miss you. I miss living with you. I miss seeing you everyday. You don’t even eat in the cafeteria anymore. Where do you go? How is it that we’re so close to each other, and I feel farther apart than ever?

Sorry for all the questions. Just..maybe I could pull some strings? Get you switched to my Jaeger? Or at least just switched back to my room? What do you think?

Yours,

Nellie

Nellie,

Fuck you. You know, I think I’ve been pretty patient about how close you and Felix are, listening to you ramble on about him in your letters, and talk about how he makes you laugh. You never told me the two of you had a ghost link. Do you know how weird that is? Is he always in your head, hearing your thoughts, listening? Clearly he’s even with us when we fuck. How fucking messed up is that, that you leave your boyfriend who you haven’t seen in months, in the middle of sex, because the voice in your head gave you a feeling of being scared.

If you ever do that again, I’m going to ask that you find a new co-pilot.

Aelius

Aelius

First off, how dare you? Felix is a human being, I’m not going to ignore when he’s upset or throw him away like trash. Look, it wasn’t cool of me to leave like that, but Felix was having a panic attack. Sister Typhoon was out fighting a really powerful Kaiju in his hometown, and Felix watched his childhood home get crushed on live TV. He has no idea if his family were still in there: he told me they were very much the time to not evacuate when told to do so. I won’t apologize for helping a friend in a time of need. I have his memories inside of me: he’s part of me. 

If you ever give me an ultimatum like that again, I’m going to ask that you never talk to me again.

Nellie

Nellie

I thought I was a part of you. Sorry that I don’t understand you as well as some stranger does. Honestly, the fact that your link with him was successful means he doesn’t love you like I do. How could anyone ignore a scene of your mother beating you senseless before walking out of your life for good? Not someone who cares for you, that’s for sure. We need to meet up. I’m tired of not talking about the past, it feels like I’ve been ignoring parts of what made me who I am. And it feels like you’ve been hiding parts of yourself from me. Let’s meet in three days, in your room, at noon. If you’re not there, well, I’ll assume it’s over.

Aelius

Aelius

I don’t want to talk about it. If that’s all you want to talk about, we don’t need to meet. 

Nellie

Aelius

Is it true? That you’re going to link with a Kaiju? Just because Dr. Stone needs test subjects for her experiments doesn’t mean you have to volunteer. How could you share your mind, your life with a monster? Please tell me you’re not doing this. I tried to get the Captain to remove you from the list but he said that Dr. Stone’s work was more important than my feelings, and that it doesn’t matter who my father was, that I don’t have the authority to meddle in things bigger than me.

Please, don’t do this.

Yours, 

Nellie

Nellie

At least the monster will be willing to see all of my life, not just the pieces it thinks it can handle. Don’t contact me again.

Aelius

Dear Aelius,

My mother had a disease. It would cause her to go on these crazy trips, spend all this money on random trinkets she’d find in street markets or order a bunch of junk online. Our house didn’t have a bedroom for me: I slept on the couch so the room that should have been mind could be storage for all these purchases. One time, I’d had enough, and I took all the stuff to the pawn shop with help from my friends. With the money I bought myself a bed, and I got my first good night’s sleep in years that night. That is, until my mother came home. And, well, you saw the rest.

So there, I talked about it.

Can we go back to being good now?

Please?

Yours,

Nellie

Dear Aelius,

Are you dead? You’re dead aren’t you. Or insane. Captain says he’s not allowed to talk about anyone volunteering in the experiments. But I can feel it. So can Felix, he says our link is failing. Like all my thoughts are tainted with sadness, so he can’t tell them apart anymore. We’re going to have to go back to calling them out loud to re-learn how to work together.

Wouldn’t it be funny if you, my biggest supporter of my dream to be a pilot, become the reason I fail?

Wouldn’t it be funny?

Wouldn’t it?

Yours,

Nellie

Dear Aelius,

At the funeral today, there was a man who security wouldn’t let in. Everyone was whispering, saying his name was Ryan, and he was a scumbag. I asked your mother who Ryan was and she looked at me with this shocked expression.  _ He was Aelius’s boyfriend at one point. They were together for five years, until one night Aelius called me crying. He said Ryan had tried to kill him. And that it wasn’t the first time. Did Aelius really never talk about him? Not that I could blame him, I wouldn’t want to remember it either. _

I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never listened to the story. Sorry that I didn’t want to know. I thought that adding pain to our lives would only dig up all our old secrets. Guess I was wrong. And now it’s too late to let you know you were right.

You know your father told me you had bought a ring? That you asked his advice on how to propose to me? He gave it to me, something to remember you by. It’s beautiful, everything I’ve ever wanted in a ring, and I feel like I don’t deserve it. I almost threw it in the river on the way home but I couldn’t throw a part of you away again. Not when there’s not that many parts of you left.

I love you. I feel like I never said that enough when there was time to hear it.

And now there isn’t.

Yours, even now,

Nellie

**Author's Note:**

> I know this was different from my other works, but it was an idea I couldn't get out of my head. I might revisit the Pacific Rim universe with actual characters from a fandom, we'll see.


End file.
